Alan Sugar

3674 days ago

David Laws, Maria Miller – Thieving bastard MPs with no shame: Piano Wire for the political classes

In the private sector if you steal from your employer by fiddling your expenses you get sacked at once. Then, if the employer wishes to save other firms from taking on a thief you get reported to the Old Bill. Hopefully you get a criminal record.  Crime should not pay.

But for MPs, who should be held to at least the same standard as we poor plebs, life is different.

Culture Secretary Maria Miller (who looks like a greedy pig and is a greedy pig) has made a million quid abusing the expenses system. She broke the rules. And she is having to pay back some of the expenses she should never have claimed. But not all. And none of her “winnings” from property speculation funded by taxpayers cash will be repaid.

This woman should be fired from the cabinet and step down as an MP. But that is not happening. Instead the rest of the political class are standing up to defend her. Her champion today is David Laws MP who stole taxpayer’s cash by fiddling his expenses. He quit the cabinet but only temporarily – he is once again a minister.

These folks have no shame. Why the fuck should I work my socks off to pay taxes to fund these creeps. Please can anyone explain why we would be any worse off if the entire political class was strung up with piano wire? Let’s just have a period when no new laws are made and we can just get on with our lives.  Let Alan Sugar run the country for a while. Surely life could be no worse?

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4139 days ago

Friday Caption Contest: No-one wants Piers Morgan Special

The special relationship between Britain and America is under its most severe threat in decades. Stateside, a petition calling for Piers Moron to be deported has garnered enough signatures for President Obama to have to consider it. The world’s most hopeless chat show host, self-confessed phone hacker and “lucky” share punter during the City Slickers affair points out that 99% of Americans have not signed the petition. Alan Sugar responded on twitter by saying that those were the people who had not heard of Morgan.

But as this petition grows in size daily, other petitions are springing up demanding that he not be allowed back into Britain. The grounds seem unclear other than the fact that he is a loathsome human being and we would be better off without him.

I would just about consider an Abu Qatada Piers Morgan a good deal for Britain but it is pretty marginal. Perhaps if America agreed to take Russell Brand as well?

In order to win an “It’s Time to Leave” T-shirt I offer this picture of two grinning gentlemen. On is a proven loser with no friends very occassionally seen in the House of Commons. And so is the other.

Please post your entries in the comments section below.

You can of course buy your very own “It’s Time to Leave T-shirts, hoodies, sweatshirts, coffee mugs and Thermos flogs in my online store here.

For what it’s worth my entry is:

Brown: “ I’d like to replace the £9 billion I lost on bullion sales and you say you know Britain’s best gold digger – can you get Ms Mills’ telephone number for me?”

Last week I asked you for captions to this picture:

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